She called me fat!!

She called me fat!!

So this week I experienced road rage- from the passenger of a car that nearly hit me.

I live in a dead end street, we all use the dead end to turn around and there is a children’s play ground there. Everyone knows to slow down.

A young girl came bombing up the road as I was turning and didn’t see me. We both had our windows open and she apologised. ‘No worries’ I said, ‘take it easy’.

The older lady passenger started screaming at me. I assume she was the mother of the young driver. Also, I assume she was the mother of the children in the back seat.

‘Fu*k off you fat slag! Go f*ck yourself you fat bitch’.

It went on and on. The only thing I could say is ‘what’s wrong with you?’ And then I drove off. 

My first feeling was fright. I’ve never been screamed at like that. Considering what had happened I thought I was calm about the fact she nearly smashed up the car I’ve had for only two weeks.

My second feeling was anger. Not only for the insults but also for the example she was setting her family.

Is it ok to insult a person’s appearance? Is it ok to not admit mistakes? Is it ok to do this in front of your children? Is this how to lead by example?

No. No. No. No.

This is not ok.

I’m dealing with my weight and trying my best. I’ve lost nearly two stone and was so proud of myself. Well I was, until that moment.

I wanted to run away and grab some cake. I felt like no matter what I did, there would always be some one to tell me I wasn’t good enough.

I was too frightened to go back to the house and tell my boyfriend what had happened so I drove away and phoned him! He was furious!! He walked down to their house and took photos of their number plate while he waited for them to come out of the house. They didn’t.

I came home after a few hours. I had calmed down and now, after a few days reflection, I have decided that I don’t care what she thinks.

I have done well and I am proud of my weight loss. I’m an educated girl with a job I love that I like to think I’m good at. I have achieved lots of things in my life that I have had to go out and work for. 

That woman will not take my achievements away from me because she called me fat. 

I know nothing about her or her life.  All I know is that I feel sorry for her children, because I personally think that the example she is setting then does not set them up for a life in the community they currently live in, or the world they have yet to explore.

Stay kind.

Laura xx

My pity party

My pity party

I have just seen this:

After a massive argument/ discussion about life and future with my beloved last night, this picture has actually calmed me down!

I was emotional because another friend got engaged and another friend is pregnant- after a year of being with their partners.

I’ve been with my beloved for seven years.

After three months of being together my father passed away. After six months, my grandmother passed away. It hasn’t been easy.

We had a massive argument one day due to the fact that I was a mess and he couldn’t deal with the grief, and split up for almost a year.

Then he came back and we have been together again for almost four years.

However there is no hint of a future. When I asked him he replies ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I suppose’. I’m not sure this is enough for me.

I also did that ‘thing’. That ‘thing’ where I compare my life to other people’s lives. I look at all the things I don’t have and feel sorry for myself.

These days are very few but it’s horrible when it does happen. I am usually very grateful and thankful for my life, because I know it is special, I also know it can be snatched away without warning.

I treasure life and I have certain things that I would like to do or achieve.

For example, I wanted to go to university- so I did.  I wanted to buy a house- so I did. I wanted to see a bit of the world- so I did.

I set myself goals and I reach them.

However, there are certain goals I can not reach alone. Marriage and kids for example.

So when my beloved ‘doesn’t know’ if he wants these things with me, it makes me very upset.

I am however grateful for all those special moments we have shared together and I hope there may be many more. Maybe even one day as Mr & Mrs.

Stay positive.

Laura xx