Feeling loved 💗

Feeling loved 💗

During the last few weeks, I have been really unwell with the campylobacter virus.  If you have had it, you know how miserable it can be!

It started at work which was awful, and a few hours later I was being sick in a bush while walking my dog.  Another classy moment for me.

My boyfriend was away, rocking at download festival, so I felt really sorry for myself!

My best friend turned up with medication, food, drinks and even took my dog out for me. She’s a legend! One day, she was with me for hours even though she had ‘just popped in’.  Turns out she stayed because I was so pale she was worried about me. 


Love this woman!

My work buddies have also been checking in with me daily, sending me jokes, gossip and generally cheering me up!

Other friends have gone to great lengths to find dairy free biscuits (people with the virus are advised to avoid dairy) as well as delivering lots of lovely magazines!

I’ve never really been poorly so it raised my spirits knowing how many people care about me, and I’m extremely thankful.

I’m still on the mend (and really pale!) but would like to go back to work tomorrow to see how I feel! 

Look after your loved ones
Laura xx

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June 19th

June 19th

June the 19th this year, probably the 18th last year and most likely the 20th next year.  I don’t care what day it is, I know that I will be hiding in the house.

There are lots of people out there like me.  We are grieving for our lost loved ones, and always will be.  This year June the 19th is father’s day and, without my hero here to spoil, I will yet again be grieving over my loss.

It never ever gets any easier for people like us.  There is always some reminder of that massive part of our lives that is missing.  Special days like the 19th June, birthdays, Christmas and those special occasions that may or may not happen in our future.  I will always grieve for not being able to share days, moments and mile stones with him.

I can’t tell you when I lost my father because I can’t remember.  I believe that is one of my coping mechanisms – simply to stop thinking.  However what I can tell you is that it is probably more than five years, but less than ten years.

His death was sudden and unexpected; the shock still chokes me now.  At the beginning the main concern was my mother and brother, and somewhere along the way I forgot to look after myself.  Then by the time I realised the overwhelming power of my grief, the only concern people ever expressed towards me, was in the form of the question:  ‘How is your mother?   I got used to it.  I got used to what I still feel is a total lack of concern to my well being.  I will always grieve.  Some days my grief is so dark it consumes me.  No one knows this because no one ever asks.  Like I said, I am used to it.

However, when you find yourself alone on most fathers’ day since you lost your dad, things don’t get so easy, and the grief can take over.

It is just another day – sure.  But it is a day when Facebook is not even a place you can escape and watch funny cat videos.  Your time line is filled with photos of happy family scenes that break your heart.  So you avoid that.

Restaurants are full of generations of families enjoying their precious moments together, bouncing great grandchildren on their knees.  I would absolutely do anything to have such a beautiful scene to call my own.  But it is not possible, so I avoid that.

I can’t even walk my dog, without bumping into ‘father of the year’.

Everybody has a unique way of dealing with their grief – mine is not likely to be the same as yours.  But that is ok.  I have accepted that I am not allowed to be selfish with my grief.  However, on June the 19th, where the reminders of my loss will be drowning me, I will be selfish.  I shall wallow in bed until the late morning, and eat my lunch in my pjs while I cry on and off throughout the day, in the safety of my own home, away from judgemental eyes.  You know what?  That’s also ok.

It is also ok to reach out to people like me.  If you have friends like me, who you know will feel like that they have to lock themselves away – reach out to them.  It is ok to send a text saying I’m thinking of you, some emojis or a rude joke.  It doesn’t matter, just having you thinking of them will lift their spirits. Trust me.

I do not begrudge anyone their special day.  I only wish I had realised just how very precious days like the 19th of June were.  I believe that life can be unfair, that it is short, and that it is extremely precious.  It is with this in mind, that I wish you the most beautiful 19th June with your loved ones.  Love and cherish them, make memories and spend quality time together.

Laura xx

 

ASOS try on

ASOS try on

Sooooo I have a big night out in a few weeks!

(Follow me on insta & Twitter for photos! @lauramcfabulous )

I am looking for a party dress so went straight to asos!

For once it was not successful. Here’s my haul, from most hated to maybe!

 click on the headers to view items on asos.


Club L skater dress with Angel Sleeves
(I am trying on the size 22)

You can see by my face that I hate this dress. 

I’m sorry asos, but it feels so cheap!! The drop waist does nothing for a big girl like me. It makes my hips stick out in a big square and I look like a table.

I do however love the pattern.

Not for me.

Yumi plus belted dress with drop hem, in blossom print
(I am trying on a size 24)

I love this dress. I love it on the model. I hate it on me. 

The pattern is beautiful, and the quality is good.  However the front is a little shorter than I would be brave enough to wear. The cut of the waist seems to be pronounced and with the belt, bunches up and gives me more saddles bags than I actually own. 

I believe that I am now between sizes. You can see that the top half of the dress is sagging, but the size down was too small.


Yumi plus skater dress with lace inserts
This is the maybe.

(This is the size 24)

I like this and went for the 24, because it looked better once I had pulled in the tie back.

I like this one- again good quality and a nice fit. But again I am worried it is a little short!

I still do not feel that I have found my party dress though! The hunt continues!!

Show me your plus size party dresses!

Laura x

Weekly weigh in: weight gain :(

Weekly weigh in: weight gain :(

Hi every one.

Things have been so manic that I have not been very good at the old diet.

Forgive me slimmers for I have synned.

I gained half a pound and i deserve it.

Cake, Chinese, Indian, bread, vodka, and so on. What on earth do I expect?!

I need to get back on track.

Last week I made some photo collections up to celebrate how far I had come.


I know it’s not a huge weight loss- but it’s huge to me. It’s been a long time since I stuck to a diet so I need to remember what I’ve achieved!

I am going to plan out my week and include lots of speed foods and exercise!

How do you get back on track?

Stay fabulous 

Laura x

#curvyconvention 2016

#curvyconvention 2016

I DID IT!!!

I can’t actually believe sitting here now that I went through with it.

I auditioned.

I went to three rehearsals.

I took part in the cat walk show!!

It was AMAZING!!!!!! I loved every single second of it!!!!

I was lucky enough to model for five designers. I have listed them below and if you click on the titles, it will take you straight to their website or social media page! 

Koola Doola
Here I am with the gorgeous Sarah.

I am wearing a one off piece – visit the website and get it while you can!

I have to say a big thank you to the ladies from Koola Doola who were so lovely to me! I can’t wait to shop with them!


Photo credit:  PK Photography & QR Photography

Eyani Couture

Here I am with the lovely Bishamber Das.

I have the most gorgeous dress – floor length, off the shoulder with a fish tale finish- WOW!

Photo credit: Moinul Hossain

Nicky Rockets
OMG. Let me explain something to you. I have not worn a tshirt since comprehensive school, about 20 years ago. Yes.

I was always bigger then the other girls. When your the first to develop boobs, and wearing a tshirt, life was not so great. I’ve never worn a tshirt since.

But this:


I can not explain to you how good I felt. I felt cool, confident and just a bit nails in this!! 

Photo credit: PK Photography & QR Photography

I loved it so much, I went and bought it and haven’t taken it off since!! 

Lumy by Paris

French and chic all the way!! I got to wear a cat suit- another first for me! I really like the comfort and the chic look of this outfit!

Plus equals
My fave of the day! Here’s why!


Check out this cool clip:  https://instagram.com/p/BF_tn3agK7n/

So. This outfit. Other then amazing, was comfy and I felt on top of the world! It’s the jacket….

The other great thing about this brand- again the people! I had such fun with these ladies and felt comfortable and at ease with them- thank you!


Makeup and hair

I had the lovely Pavan making me beautiful for the day and we did a number of different looks:


Pavan was so chilled out in the midst of all the chaos. I felt totally at ease with her and quite serene!

Pavan’s insta: http://instagram.com/pxvn_

Pavan’s website: http://www.levitate-bypkart.com/

Overall- I BLOODY LOVED IT!

I loved the chaos, the clothes, the back stage banter with the girls and the blister comparisons at the end of the day!

Would I do it again? Watch this space ……

I just want to also say a BIG thank you to the girls from my favourite face book group who came to support me! It was so so good to see you and next time, I’m coming to the pub!! 

Laura xx

Two sleeps to go!!

Two sleeps to go!!

Two sleeps to go until the curvy convention!!

I can’t believe it’s here already! It seems like a life time ago that I had the balls do audition, and now it’s around the corner!

It’s been a huge commitment so far. Three rehearsals in London, three long journeys from the valleys- on top of a full time job where I travel all week! It’s been tough but I have loved it!

The best thing about the rehearsals are the other girls. We support and lift each other up. The atmosphere in the room is amazing. Like being surrounded by your sisters!

So I’ve began to get my beauty on, however it’s getting a little stressful…..


Also had a spray tan- first time ever… Shocked at the outcome……

Couple of washes and apparently it will be more golden and less orange. I bloody hope so!!

So far – the nails and brows are successful!!

I’ll keep you all updated on how the event goes! If you have tickets, please do come and say hello!!

Stay fabulous!!

Laura xx

Six weeks on Slimming World – one stone down

Six weeks on Slimming World – one stone down

Six weeks ago I joined Simming World- again.

Here’s my starting face…

I believe I have joined every year since I was about 15 years old. The sad thing for me to admit, is that it does work for me. I just don’t work for it.

However the last six weeks have opened my eyes to something- age is not on my side!

During my university years, I dropped six stone in six months on the plan. I was active, healthier and young.

Fast forward say fifteen years, and I find myself in a job which involves at least a few hours driving each day, an overall lack of time, and an inactive lifestyle.

When I rejoined six weeks ago I expected to have lost two stone by now. So, am I disappointed?

The answer is no. I have struggled with this my whole life, just now the results are a little slower to obtain.

For six weeks in a row, I have lost some weight each week. I haven’t slipped, maintained or gained. I’m happy!

I have realised that I need to look after myself a bit more, make more time for me, and respect my body.


This was me messing around in work yesterday. Although I look tired, I can see instantly that my skin is better and my face looks Slimmer.

If you are following Slimming World please get in touch with any tips or recipes!

Stay healthy

Laura X